Introduction
You prayed for alignment. And then he showed up.
He had the charm. The scripture. The manners. The energy.
But your spirit started glitching, because something still felt… off.
You keep saying, “But he’s trying.”
You keep waiting on a promise God never confirmed.
Peace isn’t found in potential.
Peace is a fruit, and that fruit is the proof it’s from God.
This post is for that space between “maybe” and the peace you’re craving.
It’s for the woman who knows what it looks like, but can’t ignore how it feels.
This is your permission to stop explaining the disconnect and start trusting your discernment.
Potential Is Not Your Assignment
You’re dreaming of the wedding. You’re picturing the marriage. You’ve seen the healed version of him. You’re imagining what your future children will look like. That’s all it is, though, your imagination.
You were building the future you want in your head, and hoping he’ll come into agreement with it, but girlie, you can’t build a future with someone who won’t even pick up a metaphorical hammer to build with you.
You can’t imagine a man into his position
Holding onto potential only keeps you emotionally bound to someone who is standing still. You aren’t called to wait on him.
You’re called to walk with someone who’s already walking.
Signs You’re Holding Onto Potential
- You keep explaining him to others (and to yourself)
- You feel anxious after talking to him
- You’re constantly making excuses for what he “didn’t mean.”
- You’ve been waiting for consistency for longer than you care to admit
- Your peace walked out the door a long time ago
Attraction Is Not Alignment
“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” — Amos 3:3 (KJV)
He’s fine as a mofo, says all the right things, the chemistry is there, treats you well, and he’s not toxic. That still doesn’t mean he’s the one you’re meant to be with. Attraction doesn’t mean alignment. It means you’re attracted to them, something about them, or what the relationship is bringing you at the moment.
Attraction happens in an instant.
Alignment is built over time.
Attraction gets tested, and can disappear.
Alignment gets tested and stays.
You may vibe well together, have tons in common, and seem like the perfect match for each other. You might laugh, connect, and even dream together. But if your values don’t agree, your futures won’t either.
Potential doesn’t equal purpose and promise.
Chemistry Doesn’t Equal Covenant
Chemistry makes it easy to justify emotional attachment, but just because you two click, it doesn’t mean it’s a covenant.
You may get along wonderfully, have a great time together, and even match on nearly everything, but that doesn’t mean it’s a Kingdom match.
That fire you’re feeling might just be friction.
That “vibe” may just be a counterfeit.
You can be emotionally activated, but still be spiritually unequally yoked.
“Be not unequally yoked…” — 2 Corinthians 6:14-18
The Devil Will Use Your Type
The enemy knows your type, and he will happily send counterfeits that match it, in the form of God sent to distract, delay, derail, detour, destroy you, and pull you as far away from God as he can.
The devil won’t hesitate to drop the wrong man in the right package at your spiritual doorstep. He’ll sit back, watch you open it, and laugh as he waits for you to fall into the trap you have no idea he’s set.
The man will say all the right things with the wrong fruits.
If he’s spiritual, but not fully submitted, or worse, not submitted at all, if you’re not listening to and obeying god, and using your discernment, you’ll get seduced by the potential and completely miss the pattern.
Don’t call it confirmation and covenant just because it suits your comfort zone.
Don’t call it from the Father if it’s just familiar.
You Can Be Drawn And Still Walk Away.
He doesn’t have to be terrible for him to be wrong for you. Not every breakup is because he was a narcissist or toxic in general.
Sometimes it’s just God saying, “This isn’t him.”
You don’t have to vilianize him to walk away.
You can use your discernment to say: “He’s a good man, but he’s not my man.” “And I’m okay with that.”
Discernment isn’t mean.
Discernment is mature.
Obedience Is The Exit Strategy
“They forsook all, and followed Him.” — Luke 5:11 (KJV)
Obedience is hard, but regret is harder and causes way more problems.
You don’t get to hold on to “almost” and receive “abundance.”
You can’t keep a counterfeit and still expect the covenant.
Obedience hurts for a moment.
But disobedience will cost you seasons.
Let go while your peace is still recoverable.
Peace, and choosing it over potential, is one of the many topics we get into in the community, and I’m not just talking about the stuff in this post. We’d love to have you with us! So, come on and get your beautiful self up in here, and join us as we walk this road together, continue our healing journeys, connect with other women who ‘just get it’, and have tons of fun on top of it, in a faith-led, God centered, positive, encouraging, supportive, drama-free, upbeat, fun atmosphere!
Thanks for reading this post and for being here in general! May God bless you and yours abundantly and exceedingly above anything you can think, perceive, or imagine, just as His Word promises!
Until next time, I love ya! You know God loves you more!
Angel M. <3 <3 <3
